What can you do if you find yourself in the throes of unhealthy behavior such as perfectionism, rage or codependency? How can you more skillfully manage your thinking and behavior to obtain better results?
Psychologist and mindfulness teacher, Dr. Tara Brach came up with a shorthand formula to both interrupt and change the target behavior. She suggests the acronym RAIN. So, identify a pattern you strongly wish to transform, and apply her RAIN formula to it.
R-Recognize that it is happening (awareness)
A-Allow the pattern to be there, as it is without indulging it (acceptance)
I-Investigate the underlying reason for the pattern (rational thinking)
N-Nurture with self-compassion
Consider this example. Let’s say you are prone to being argumentative. Perhaps you’ve struggled with this for quite a while. You truly wish to shift away from this pattern because you see the suffering it causes you and other people.
The RAIN approach is undergirded with self-compassion. This is because berating, criticizing yourself won’t serve you in terms of change. In fact, it is likely that that very approach will lock in the negativity you already feel about the long-term habit.
Use positive reinforcement to solidify new responses. In other words, if you reward yourself for your progress, you will naturally want to continue forward.
You will need to be creative in how you reward yourself. One method we enjoy is pressing an easy button. Are you familiar with this device? When you push through a difficult part of the process, you press the easy button. An audible “that was easy” message is activated. This psychologically reframes what you previously thought was so difficult. Other rewards are equally useful.
Reflecting on the RAIN steps gives you power to transform the things you struggle with the most. Reach out to us today for better results!