How much sensitivity is the right amount? Have you ever gotten feedback that you’re either too sensitive or not sensitive enough? Feedback is an interesting thing, isn’t it? It’s often based on projection. It may have more to do with the person offering the feedback than the recipient. However, feedback does have its merits. It may be foolish to ignore it, especially if you’ve received that same information repeatedly. Ultimately, it is up to you to examine its content and determine its validity. It’s also up to you to choose what you will or won’t do in response.
If you’ve been told you’re too sensitive, this can feel like it invalidates or belittles your feelings. You have a right to your experience and interpretation even if others don’t agree or understand. Sensitivity can even be a gift. It’s often associated with empathy and heightened intuition.
However, it may be true that it would be helpful to you to learn to navigate the difficulties that life presents more skillfully. The world is often a messy place. It doesn’t always show up in a nice, neat package. The good news is that you have self-efficacy. You can utilize tools that help you feel more grounded, insulated and at home in your own skin. Exercise, or movement, is a great place to begin. Being around others who bring you joy more frequently is another positive strategy. Spending time in satisfying activities will also offset the tougher times when they do arise.
If you are someone one has been accused of being insensitive, this may be a growth edge for you. You can improve by softening your responses. You can also slow down your responses. Sometimes the knee jerk reaction can come across as brusque. If you’re in a hurry or preoccupied, your responses are more likely to be interpreted as curt. Be mindful when you engage in conversations, especially ones you already know might be a sensitive topic. Reach out to us today!
Have you ever noticed that the standard template for many books and movies is similar? Much of the story is based on the idea of the hero’s/shero’s saga. Typically, it works like this: there is a person who sets out on a journey, adventure or occupation of some kind; they encounter huge trials and tribulations; they overcome those obstacles emerging victoriously, and they finally return home as a hero/shero.
This concept in modern times was illuminated by author Joseph Campbell. He famously defined this ancient theme in three stages: departure, initiation, and return. The overarching theme is struggle and strife ultimately leading to triumph.
Think about compelling television shows, movies or plays with this theme. More alternative shows and books don’t always end in success — as can be the case in life. Nevertheless, many professionals hook the attention of people by playing into the hero’s/shero’s journey. Audience members, readers or potential buyers tend to feel inspired when they hear a tale of victory. Perhaps it cultivates hope in them. Maybe they somehow feel they, too, can be a victor. Are you more moved by someone who has overcome great odds to succeed than someone who hasn’t?
It’s natural to look to others as a hero, a conqueror of overwhelming odds. Perhaps you have been that person. In the struggles you are currently encountering, you can access your inner power to rise to the occasion. This means coming into your alignment in the present moment and seeing yourself as brave and powerful. Your assessment of yourself is paramount to how you face the current problems in your life.
You don’t have to be a movie star or social media sensation to be a hero. Many people who have endured trying times and traumas have risen to the challenge, and ultimately succeeded. Perhaps you have been more resourceful and resilient than you realize.
Have you ever been in a hotel or motel and received a morning wake-up call? For many, that’s a comforting feeling knowing they will be taken care of.
On the other hand, have you had another type of wake-up — the kind that alarms you in an unsettling way? If you’ve found yourself in the throes of a life-threatening illness, you can’t ignore the state of health at hand any longer. Maybe a loved one became seriously ill, and you were suddenly confronted with the transitory nature of their mortality. Perhaps a friend passed away without warning. It may have shaken you to the core. Those kinds of wake-up calls elicit a radical shift in perception.
Numerous people suffer financial losses, divorces or their homes being destroyed. Those kinds of shocking circumstances cause their reality to shift, likely in a lasting way. They cannot return to the way things formerly were because the change in their consciousness is so profound.
Sometimes wake-up calls are less dire but still impactful. Maybe you tended to mindlessly drive too fast but then you caused an accident that could have seriously hurt another person. You woke up. You amended your driving habits and corrected those past patterns. You changed because you saw life from a radically different perspective.
What kind of feedback are you currently receiving in your life? You don’t have to end up in a hospital because of poor self-care. You can avoid bankruptcy by practicing prudent financial habits. You can circumvent the loss of a close relationship by being thoughtful and loving. You can overcome a performance improvement plan at work by diligently stepping up. Not all wake-up calls are avoidable, but many are.
Most of all, you can have a better life by owning and attending to your personal issues. You can be a better version of yourself and evade a negative, and perhaps unnecessary wakeup call.
Being on the horns of a dilemma essentially means having to make a choice between two difficult or unpleasant things. Have you ever found yourself in that situation and really didn’t know which way to go?
Human beings generally move toward pleasure and away from pain. What do they do when they find themselves in two situations that both seem undesirable? Many do nothing. But no decision is a decision. Sometimes that can be a wise choice. More often, it’s not.
Let’s say you need to pay your taxes right away as you’re at the deadline. But your only vehicle needs to be repaired right away so you can drive to work. Given your circumstances, you know of no current resources. How do you navigate that dilemma? The option of doing nothing in this case doesn’t seem smart.
One thing you can do in this example is to seek wise counsel from someone you trust. This takes a great deal of vulnerability as it involves finances. But you’re at the eleventh hour so time is of the essence. Since your adviser is more objective, they may see an option you are unaware of. Options suddenly emerge because you were willing to step out of your council of one (yourself).
Often, when some people find themselves in a bind of some kind, they ignore the situation or procrastinate making a choice. That only prolongs the inevitable. On the other hand, there are indeed situations when selective stalling or watchful waiting are called for. You have to make that call, and it may not always be right.
In the end, even if you seek guidance from others or wait for additional details, it still comes down to your making a move, and the best decision based on the facts. Write out a pros and cons list and consider the various options. Once you’ve done that, place your hand on your gut and listen to your instincts. Take a few moments to connect with your own wisdom and inner guidance.
What you appreciate appreciates. If you appreciate someone in a relationship with a compliment or in some kind of demonstrable manner, you strengthen the relationship. You increased the value of the connection. A chief complaint with intimate partners is that they feel unacknowledged and unappreciated. This issue is relatively easy to correct if there is regular recognition given to one another.
Being appreciated feels good, particularly when it’s unexpected. Acknowledgement doesn’t require extravagance although it certainly can. It may be as simple as a smile or a hug. Being seen and understood is a desire of a great majority of people. How do you feel when you are seen and understood?
How would you rate yourself in terms of sharing your appreciation with those you love or work with? If you find yourself lacking in giving acknowledgement, what is the obstacle? It may feel awkward to be vulnerable, but it could be well-worth it to overcome that awkwardness with someone you care about.
How about work situations? Does giving appreciation to those you work with seem too touchy-feely? Exit interview research shows that countless employees leave their jobs not necessarily because of pay issues but because they feel unappreciated.
If you recognize clerks, wait staff, baristas, and others in your daily world, you will make a positive impression on them. When they cross paths with you again, there’s a very good chance that they’ll likely acknowledge you in return. It’s a win-win.
Have you had the occasion when someone unexpectedly appreciated you? Perhaps you felt a warm glow and were boosted. Be assured that others you bestow appreciation on probably feel the same way. If you survey your everyday activities, you have so many opportunities to shine your light on what is good in others. Where will you share your appreciation today?