Language is essential in communicating with others. Words describe or represent meaning about an idea, an object, or an experience. Being able to accurately or deliberately use words is necessary in communication.
One word can make or break the success of a project or relationship. Words matter greatly. The words themselves and how you speak them make a difference in their effect. You would likely agree that saying the word “no” forcefully contrasts considerably with saying it softly. In deliberate talk, you purposely speak in a slow and measured way. You carefully select your words, and you intentionally say them slowly. This allows you to hear and monitor yourself in terms of speed and tone, and for the receiver to understand and digest the message better.
We’ve all likely used words and tones which we later regretted. Once spoken, the bell cannot be un-rung. So, wise choices in how you talk to someone is paramount to having positive results.
This includes your internal talk, your inner assessment of yourself. Calling yourself stupid, an idiot, crazy and other unflattering words does little to move you forward. In fact, it can be a detrimental, self-sabotaging habit but one you can alter immediately. Try this moving forward:
- Concentrate on breathing slowly and deeply, especially in difficult conversations with work teams or family members.
- Rehearse heavy conversations aloud and in advance of challenging talks. Practice using pleasant, non-threatening language.
- Practicing focusing on the goal. What are you hoping to achieve in the conversation with this person? Remember that conversations are organic, so be prepared to hear new information.
Realize that every conversation is not a life-or-death situation. Therefore, give yourself and others grace to be imperfect in your discussions with them. It’s a win-win.